03.24.12
Posted in Just Me at 12:33 PM by Ann Hornbeck
Thanks to time on my side and sunshine high in the sky, I finally made it to the fence line to deadhead the roses and cut back the vines whose mission was to reach far into the depths of the universe regardless of how long it might take. Next up, lunch with family and friends at our favorite Indian restaurant, and then finally, a chance to remove the dead leaves that were nestled against the side yard even though autumn passed us by a long time ago. The hens had a feast as their area is next to the fence line, so each time I swept away the leaves, they began pecking the dirt immediately, knowing innately and genetically that once removed, the bugs would be hopping and running as quickly as they can on their little legs to find shelter from the storm. The world is a beautiful mystery.
Today, the rains have re-appeared so we are planning for another week of very little sunshine. Inside, more construction continues today with tile being laid in the second bathroom, while Robin finishes the details remaining from installing the dishwasher. The refrigerator now has water flowing so we can fill our glasses with water and ice cubes with the press of a button. Early this week, the cabinet doors will have the knobs installed, assuming they arrive on time, which means we can finally put our food away where it really belongs! One of the last big items in the kitchen is installing the new slab of marble for the island since the installer erred in his mathematics and had to replace it. Next week, the great room ceiling should be completed just in time for Jesse to re-appear and complete the painting. Such is life in the big city!
This evening, I will go to a fundraising event for the Rotary Club and then meet up with my friend Candi. I always enjoy her! She has a kind and innocent approach to life. Maybe tomorrow, I can get in a walk or run, but if not, there is always gardening, and if the rain is too hard, then there is always a book to read, a movie to watch, or shopping to complete. I often forget that we don’t melt in the rain. Even the big Toms were strutting around the neighbors yard today – if they can do it, so can I! I am the only one in the family that does not have any rubber boots and my Uggs are not up to the task, so I think I will make that purchase today.
Yes indeed, shelter from the storm…I can’t wait for the day we can sit in front of the fire in the great room and watch the embers glow. When that happens, you know you are home again.
Peace out!
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03.23.12
Posted in Just Me at 10:33 AM by Ann Hornbeck
Today, we have water flowing into the new kitchen sink, a white farmhouse sink that is deep and white. The contrast to the dark wood floors brings images from my youth, especially when I would visit friends who lived out in the country. I certainly enjoyed my time washing dishes this morning, a chore that was mostly mine as a young child. How simple life can be at times.
Cousin Jesse, a master painter (next to his father) and first cousin to Aaron, has been here all week. He makes painting look so easy! I know Jesse and Angie have had a lot of great conversations this week as Jesse is going to be a daddy for the first time! But shhhhhhh….don’t tell anyone because it is a secret until he breaks the news to his parents over the weekend.
Rumor has it that an engagement ring might be purchased today! I can only imagine how many times he has played out in his mind the conversation with his parents, and what he will say to his girlfriend when he says: “Will you marry me?” I have yet to meet his girlfriend, but they have been dating for a long time and everyone says they are a perfect fit. I have enjoyed coming home from work and participating in a few conversations. He is a good man and comes from a big family of uncles and aunts and cousins, all with Norwegian heritage. Aaron has even visited the Sons of Norway in our downtown. They are proud of their heritage, as are most of us. Congratulations to Jesse!
As soon as I can find the pruning shears, and assuming the rain does not interfere, I will tackle the rose bushes growing along the fence. I notice again today how many leaves keep sprouting on the branches of the willow tree. I just love the way it sits right in the middle of the roundabout. It reminds me of something you would see in a movie. I heard Aaron and Angie agreeing that it is time to order the bees. But, first things first, the beehives must be completed and a space groomed for their new home. Angie also commented that soon she will get some baby chicks from our local feed store! She was like a mother hen the last time she raised them! She would hold them to her chest and stroke them and kiss them. She is quite the nurturer. Jessica checks the garden every time she comes for a visit, and she and Angie are already discussing what else needs to be planting and when. I love pulling weeds as much as reading, so I plan to be out there a lot, too. I heard this week that the newest version of Sunset Magazine’s “Western Garden Book” is now available. I think that would make a great present for Jessica and Angie.
The Sunset magazine is located in Menlo Park, CA, and was only a couple blocks away from where I used to work. Yesterday, I heard an interview on NPR with the editor of the latest gardening books. What’s “hot” this year are edibles, and of course, flowers and bushes that provide nectar. I love butterfly bushes. They definitely attract butterflies and hummingbirds and they are wild and beautiful. Here in California, it is also good to plant a lot of succulents as the summers are very hot where we live, sometimes reaching 115 degrees or greater. I’m not looking forward to that! California is a glutton for water, so it is best to select plants that can handle the heat and require less water.
As I glance out the window, I see the wild turkeys walking across the yard. This is a small brood of hens that must have awakened late, or perhaps are searching for a better breakfast than what the next door neighbors provided. The hens have no fear of Jack the Dog who maintains his distance, probably waiting until he can graze for their droppings! Yuck! To the west, the skies are blue, and the fog that hovered over the morning is retreating, yet the dark clouds from the east have yet to decide if they will release the rain or continue on to some other area,
I am very saddened by the killing of another young man, Trayvon Martin, who, according to an NPR news item was unarmed and “shot and killed by a neighborhood watch volunteer who claims self-defense.” I wish I had a magic wand to undo this terrible experience, one that is tragic beyond words. Boundaries are being drawn, and now it will be up to the courts to decide. There is no simple solution, and no promise that this incident will solve or dissolve the divide. Let justice prevail.
Peace.
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03.19.12
Posted in Just Me at 5:35 PM by Ann Hornbeck
The “astronomical spring” begins tomorrow! Throughout California and truly, across most of the United States, spring “sprung” in early November, and in tandem, Old Man Winter decided he needed a break from the cold and damp and decided to delay winter for another year. When that happens next year, it will probably be a doozie of a winter!
I am excited to start working around the property. I know that a plan exists, but for me, I want to watch the change and be part of the action. I notice along the fence line that the roses have been ignored for quite some time. Their branches are red and already higher than the fence line. Of course, the roses will still bloom but they need nurturing and a little help with assuring a solid amount of roses throughout spring and summer. There is nothing more pleasant than seeing a variety of roses gracing a white fence and the entrance to one’s property. Well, at least I think so.
The willow tree sits right smack dab in the middle of the front property. It has a roundabout so cars can easily park in front of the house, just feet away from the front door. The willow tree has already bloomed and each day as I look out my window, I see more and more growth. The wild turkeys are everywhere on most mornings. The big “tom” turkeys and their brood walk through the open gate and forage around the yard. The hens and their little ones are always surrounded by the “toms” who are very protective. If they see me through the window, like soldiers, they band together, creating a fortress of feathers while surrounding the chicks as they continue to search for food. This morning, I took a couple more photos of them in our yard. I love watching them. I think every property on our lane gets to experience this slide of nature, or perhaps, they are immune to the scene, but for me, I look forward to the morning parade. This morning, one of the hens flew into the chicken yard. Right now, we only have two hens, so I was a little concerned what might transpire, but eventually, the turkey hopped to the top of the fence and joined the others in the front yard.
For those of you who would like to read an entertaining article from 2004, go to “The Berkeley Daily Planet” and read “Wild Turkeys Have Ancient California Roots” by Joe Eaton. Here is the URL: http://www.berkeleydailyplanet.com/issue/2004-11-23/article/20164?headline=Wild-Turkeys-Have-Ancient-California-Roots-By-JOE-EATON—Special-to-the-Planet
We have barely started on the outside, but soon enough, we will be spending every weekend and then some, making changes. In the backyard, there is the garden to tend, the fence to paint, and the back part of the yard to mend. The original owners had massive bird cages as the wife was an exotic bird owner, and when they left, they left the posts too. It will take some work to fill the holes and getting that piece of yard groomed. The swimming pool needs a new cover, but other than that, once the fence is rebuilt and the chemicals checked and re-checked, it will be ready and waiting for use to jump into the pool, as it gets very hot where we live! But when you jump in, be on the lookout for Jack the Dog who already thinks the pool is there only for his daily therapy! The garden is growing, and recent rains helped it along. But, we’re not out of the woods yet, as more rains are predicted but when you live in a desert, it sure is a welcome event.
So, more to come – right now we are having yet another celebration for Karlie, her last year of being a “tween.” I am very proud of her! She has it all!
Peace out!
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03.18.12
Posted in Just Me at 12:51 PM by Ann Hornbeck
Much has transpired over the past couple of weeks. Most importantly, Kona the Cat passed away. She had either a neurological problem or a stroke that came on rapidly, or perhaps I just didn’t notice in the midst of everything else that was going on, that she wasn’t herself. I sure miss her.
In Los Altos, I had a stray cat that I would feed on a regular basis. She was very wary of humans and it was a long time before she would come into the house to sleep in a warm place. Nena and Savo said they would like to take care of her so when I moved to the El Granada Hills in the Half Moon Bay area, I decided to get a new cat from the Peninsula Humane Society in San Mateo. It was a comedy of errors. I told myself I would know the right one when I saw it, and there she was, calm, cool and collected, stretching her paws toward me and Doug, pretending to reach out to us but not making too much of a deal of the entire situation. We made our choice, and then waited for her to be brought to us. When they brought her in, I thought she looked a bit different, especially thinner, but we both let her thank us as she purred and rubbed herself against our bodies. Then, one of the workers comes into the room and says, oops, that was the wrong cat! We laughed and laughed, but when Kona finally appeared, I knew again that she was truly the one. She was precious.
Every time I came into the room, she would stretch towards me, looking into my eyes with unbridled love. She was a big cat and ended up becoming diabetic. Perhaps the previous owner could not deal with the expense and had to give her away, as the diabetes came on pretty fast after I got her. As she aged, she slept a lot but always seemed happy. My family loved her. My friend Judy loved her. My friend Louise loved her. Doug loved her. And I loved her. Her ashes will be returned within the next couple of weeks. At that time, I will take her to Montara Beach and let her ashes mix in with the same sands that carried my two cocker spaniels to their journey beyond this life.
The night of the day she passed away, Little Anna slept with me. During the night, I woke up hearing Anna talking to Kona. In my groggy state, I tried to make sense of what she was saying, so I reached over and touched Anna gently and she rolled over toward me and went back to sleep. The next morning, I asked Anna if she was talking to Kona last night. She said yes. I asked her if Kona told her she loved her, and Anna said yes! I then asked her if Kona said she loves Grandma, and she said yes! I gave her a big hug and told her thank you as the tears fell. I am much better now. She was 19 years old and failing. It was her time. But, it is never a good time to lose such a wonderful companion, and she definitely was one for me. I love you Kona!
On another note, we are moved into the new home, but construction is ongoing. I am mesmerized by the patience that Angie and Robin consistently apply to every large or small problem. There has been much stress trying to maneuver around boxes yet to be emptied, and basic items not yet installed or working, but everyone, and even me, see a light in the tunnel. The appliances are installed, the sink is installed and the water will be running by the end of the day. The bathrooms are half-way there, and the great room is waiting for a few more items and then it will be once again, home, sweet home. The property is beautiful just as the seasons of our lives. We as Americans are spoiled with our “modernistic” approach to everything. I am looking forward to “living the questions” as Sue Hubbell writes, instead of trying to have an answer for everything.
On Saturday, we all visited the Discovery Museum again in Sausalito and then had dinner at Dobb’s Ferry in San Francisco to celebrate Anna and Karlie’s birthdays. It was a fun day. I think this is going to be a tradition! I am very blessed to have such a wonderful family.
Peace to you!
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03.06.12
Posted in Just Me at 8:32 PM by Ann Hornbeck
Carla said she misses my blog. I said, “So do I!”
I am listening to Bell X1, an Irish band that was featured on Mountain Stage in 2011. I like them! There has been a lot of activity on the Greg Brown website recently, people wanting to know when “you” first heard his songs. There are sure a lot of people who have been following him since the 70′s. But, there are many people out there who have followed him from the early 80′s, and especially from his time working the Mountain Stage. What would life be without art, poetry, music, dance, and song?
Who was the first to stop watching shadows on the wall and instead, step out into the light? I applause the Cave Woman who told him to get out from under her feet so she can clean up the damn cave! Without her, where would you be? Little did they know that the writing on the wall is still alive and well in every country across the globe. From Beshazzar’s feast to modern times, we learn we don’t need pens and ink, not a dictionary or thesaurus, no paper full of bullshit, nor typewritten words that fade over time. All we need is a little space and we can create a beautiful piece of art. Street artists never sing the blues because as long as buildings rise, they will rise with them. In San Francisco, city leaders learned early on that if you can’t beat them, then join them. Have you traversed Mission Street and its border communities recently? Have you taken CalTrain, BART or Amtrak lately? You get to see some of the most amazing art painted on walls, train cars, falling fences, abandoned cars, and dilapidated buildings on property always near the train tracks. No matter where you go, graffiti will be there first. It is a symptom but to many more, it is an artwork, so give them their space. They don’t want what you have. They don’t care what you think. They don’t want to be you. Someday graffiti will cover the earth. ”The drones are on their way. Run for cover! ” The circle will never be broken – back to the cave!
Anyway…..how about those primaries – ACK! Turn it off – all of it, PLEASE! Ahhhhh… I am on Pandora listening to the Bob Dylan station. It’s an either/or, a paradigm – is tonight Bobbie or Greg? Will I smile, or will I cry? Will I turn my mind to the past, or look forward with hope and joy?
Tomorrow, the move to our new home occurs. We have been packing, packing, packing, cleaning, cleaning, cleaning, driving to the property to assess progress, packing some more, and then some more…whew! It is pretty darn amazing how Robin and his crew gets things done and so perfectly. Robin works just as hard as everyone, but so far, there isn’t too much wear and tear showing. Of course, I’m sure his ultimate goal is to provide for his family, and secondly, to make the most money he can possibly acquire so he can do what he loves doing most – anything he wants! The American Dream.
Ok, Carla – I did my best! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my grandaughter Anna who turns three tomorrow!!!!!
Peace out!
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“Almost Cut my Hair”
Almost cut my hair
Happened just the other day
It’s gettin’ kind of long
I could’ve said it was in my way
But I didn’t and I wonder why
I feel like letting my freak flag fly
And I feel like I owe it, yeah … to someone, yeah
Well, must be because I had the flu this Christmas
Oh, yeah and I’m not feeling up to par
Oh, I tell you baby this increases my paranoia
Yeah, like looking in my mirror and seeing a police car
Well, well, I’m not, I’m not giving in an inch to fear
Well, you know I’ve promised myself this year
Well, I feel oh, like I owe it, I owe, I owe it to someone
Oh … like I owe it to someone
Oh, yes when I get myself together
Yeah, you can find me in that sunny southern weather, yeah
I’m goin’ to find a space inside a laugh, yes
Separate the wheat from the chaff
Oh, and I feel …
Like I owe it, yeah … to someone
- David Crosby
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02.23.12
Posted in Just Me at 10:00 PM by Ann Hornbeck
I am finding that I have little time for anything! 30 years of software engineering, 24-7, and now, I can barely remember my name. In a couple weeks, we will be moved into the new house on 5-acres in the country. I know it isn’t a huge amount of property, but every ounce will be utilized. Besides getting a lot of weeding completed, the vegetables planted, the back property mowed, the inside walls of the house all fixed and painted, the kitchen marble ordered, as well as the appliances, now Angie and Uncle Aaron, purchased bee hives so they can start making honey! The hives will be located on the hill at the end of the property. Now, all we need are the bees! This is going to be fun! Most of the neighbors on our lane are horse people, but I know they will welcome the bees when they taste how wonderful the honey will be, and how lucky they will be to have honey on a regular basis.
I read an article on Mother Earth News from 1985 about raising honeybees (http://www.motherearthnews.com/sustainable-garming/how-to-raise-honeybees-zmaz85zsie.aspx#ixzz1nGyBQjUq.) The author says: “The plain truth is I can no longer imagine my life without those creatures and the fascination and respect they engender.” I am so proud of my daughters for making wonderful choices, and living the lives they were meant to live. And in my “old” age, I get to experience all of it.
When I arrived in the Bay Area in 1980, I took a drive to the Mendocino coast and fell immediately in love with the area. What more could one ask for – the Pacific Ocean and all its beauty on one side and the lure of blackberries, hiking trails, cool weather, hot tubs and aware people on the other. I always dreamed that someday that would be where I settled in. But, life has its own plans, and those plans are not always what you dreamed or expected, but it always seems to turn out right.
In 1985, when this article was written, I was commuting from the East Bay to Marin County where I worked at “MicroPro,” the inventors of WordStar, one of the first word processing companies in the world. At that time in my life, I had dabbled with gardening, bartered with friends and acquaintances, made my own homemade breads, frequented seafood markets for better food choices, and never, ever gave my daughters anything but breast milk as infants, and good food choices as they grew. But as time went on, work seemed to get in the way of the life I always wanted to live.
I can’t wait to put that bee suit on! When I think of the sound the bees will make, it sends chills through my body. Once I master the sounds, I know I will be over the hump and at one with the process. I wonder what other plans my daughters are scheming? This moment brings to mind the book, “The Secret Life of Bees.” The book shares wisdom about mothers and daughters and other women who touch our lives, like our mothers, aunts, and friends who become our “true mothers.” What a wonderful time of my life to bear witness to this shift in consciousness and its positive impact on my grandchildren who will also learn so much from this experience. How blessed am I.
Peace out!
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02.20.12
Posted in Just Me at 7:09 PM by Ann Hornbeck
The Boiling Point
I feel alive! Truly alive!
My body senses a change; the
sensation is rapturous, tickling.
“What does “alive” mean?” I ask.
Let me re-trace my footprints,
one by one, across the burning sands,
my life already reduced to
a single drop of water.
I close my eyes to remember
but the world seems too calm
without you.
I seem to flutter from dark to light,
and light to very dark, again.
Sometimes I hear myself, but
I sound like someone else
echoes my plea.
I hold myself together with
the strength of a wet noodle,
full of starch, bloated, waiting
soaking in the bottom of the pan,
underwater, and overdone.
Do you feel me here, beside you?
You seem to disregard me.
Your body language is darting, empty, hot.
A bubbling sound fills my heart,
And suddenly, I awaken.
Senses soar, I feel you next to me,
But in the next second, you disappear.
There you are again, and again, you are gone.
One more chance with you – that’s
all I ask of life.
Finally, you boil!
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02.17.12
Posted in Just Me at 8:11 PM by Ann Hornbeck
Oh, life, how I embrace you. What have I learned?
How much more can I see? Unravel?
Count the stars – can you? Have you tried?
“1953, Galactic Bulge (between 275 and 35 degrees galactic longitude)
June, 1953, observer unknown, Hydrogen Alpha filter, unknown integration time.”
Saturn is in Virgo at the edge of the field – (I became aware that night).
Did you know that the eye senses brightness logarithmically?
Deneb – how wonderful to see you! How beautiful your light!
Do I cast a shadow? Black. Everything is black. A black so dark that it shines for me.
How fortunate to live so close to a star!
Without you, life would be fuzzy, dark, tempting.
As evening turns to sterling, I sink into the light. I glow, shivering with cold. Deneb, thank you! What would I see in the near distance? And, who within your light would know the difference?
Black on black; purple bubbling to the top – the highest order!
Ah yes, the Milky Way… the “road of the gods.” I hear your horses roar by, silent and true.
And look! The moon! The rock of ages.
————————————————————-
“When He Returns”
The iron hand it ain’t no match for the iron rod
The strongest wall will crumble
and fall to a mighty God
It is only He who can reduce me to tears
For like a thief in the night,
He’ll replace wrong with right
When He returns
Truth is an arrow and the gate is narrow that it passes through
he unleashed His power at an unknown hour that no one knew
How long can I listen to the lies of prejudice?
How long can I stay drunk on fear out in the wilderness?
Will I ever learn that there’ll be no peace, that the war won’t cease
Until He returns?
He sees your deeds, He knows your needs even before you ask
How long can you hate yourself for the weakness you conceal?
Of every earthly plan that be known to man, He is unconcerned
He’s got plans of His own to set up His throne
When He returns
- Bob Dylan
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02.15.12
Posted in Just Me at 7:27 PM by Ann Hornbeck
There is a video on Facebook that is very, very powerful and becoming viral as I speak. It is a conversation between Sean Stephenson and Scooter Braun about life. I listened to it multiple times and within its simplicity, the truth unfolded. When something like that takes hold, nothing will ever stop it. It is LIFE at its finest moment.
Two sentences I walked away with that I have already plastered on my brain, the walls of my cubicle at work, and eventually, on my mirror, are “I am enough” and “Time is our best friend.” Both are very powerful in two different ways, and perfectly support one another.
I know too well the art of carrying baggage around – I did it for most of my life. But today, I told myself STOP! I am perfectly perfect in all ways. I have friends and family to spend time with, dreams and wishes that come true, aspirations that I know I can reach, and time on my side. Greg Brown’s lyrics are “Time is just a whore.” But, as long as we are alive, we have time to change. And, if anything is constant, it is change.
I am the problem.
I waste time by hiding behind my self, pretending to be what I am not, instead of becoming who I am.
I judge myself against someone I have never known, and wonder why I can’t be like them.
My tears cleanse me.
My smile reflects me.
My body becomes me.
My heart shines for me.
My thoughts comfort me.
My blessings protect me.
The sky opens wide for me!
And even the birds sing to me!
I am!
I am enough!
I AM ENOUGH!
Peace!
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02.13.12
Posted in Just Me at 9:27 PM by Ann Hornbeck
I had a great birthday this past week! On Thursday, my friend Diane took me out for dinner where we had a chance to get out and catch up on our lives. She is a great friend. On Friday, the family took me to another great restaurant – one that I frequented many, many, many times when I originally lived in this area. It was as lovely as it ever was and I truly enjoyed being there again. On Saturday morning, I headed for the coast where I did my usual – having a fish taco in Half Moon Bay before heading to San Gregorio for music. While there, the band sang a trilogy of West Virginia songs just for little ole me. Of course, I am the one who shouted out: “It’s my 59th birthday and I am originally from West Virginia so please play an Appalachian song for – and not John Denver!” Everyone laughed, and so did I. But, when they played and sang what appeared to be one long song, it was actually three different compilations of “Take me Home” done in an amazing way that only they could make happen. It was FABULOUS, and of course, my heart was shining even as the tears formed a small river on my face! I headed to La Honda and sat with Louise and another friend at her house for a while before heading for dinner, and then dancing at Apple Jacks until my body said ENOUGH! I had ZERO alcohol at the bar, but I had a lot of DANCING! Thanks to Terryl for singing more birthday wishes as he and his band were playing that night. They were really good, too!
I was saddened to hear that Whitney Houston passed away this weekend. I send prayers of strength and healing to her daughter and family members. In the early days of her career, her eyes sparkled with happiness and pure joy; her voice, the song of angels, but somehow along the way, she was lost and never found. God bless you Whitney Houston!
Our society is bombarded with drugs. Drug wars. Drug cartels. Drug overdoses. Hooked on drugs. Prescription drugs. Over-the-counter drugs. Drugs, drugs, drugs. How did this happen to our society? According to a Frontline piece (http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/drugs/special/math.html“): ”The single largest marketplace for illegal drugs continues to be the United States. And: ”What keeps the drug industry going is its huge profit margins.”
No fingers pointed at Whitney. Who among us is a saint?
I choose to see her face, shining with joy, her eyes twinkling, her heart full, and now, at rest.
Until we meet again.
Peace out!
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